By Northern Johnston

 When couples find they need outside help, they often turn to professional marriage counselors. While seeking professional help may be the best course for saving a marriage, its also important to find a counselor whose attitudes and approach match the couple's moral and religious ideals. A counselor that recommends mutual prayer and bible to study to an agnostic couple may have no chance at helping the couple, no matter how skilled her actual counseling approach is. A counselor that recommends a trial separation for a religious couple who refuse to consider separation or divorce likewise may fail - even if its a failure to connect.

Of course, couples themselves may not realize they have different priorities and outlooks. It isn't always the constantly-fighting couple that needs therapy. They may have different and unexplored value systems. In fact 60% of divorces occur in low conflict marriages.

Finding the right therapist can be a challenge. In the US There are an estimated 48,000 marriage and family therapists in the United States and Canada. All laws regulate marriage and family therapists at the independent level of practice, with 20 states also regulating entry level therapists. However, in the US not all religious counselors are not licensed or regulated. Many religiously-orientated counselors do join mainstream counseling associations or participate in state licensure, but this is not required for pastoral counseling.Persons who are not state licensed cannot counsel unless they are using an approach specifically related to their faith. This is why persons in ministry are allowed to provide counseling.

Some couples do not consider religious-based marriage counseling because they feel their relationship with God should fix their own relationship. However, many problems facing couples today are not directly addressed in the Bible such as in-law problems, abuse, women working outside the home, remarriage, gay and lesbian issues, and power and control concerns. There are biblical principles that need to be applied, but examples of what to say and how to speak the truth in love for specific situations are hard to find. A well-trained religious counselor can help couples identify issues, communicate effectively, and work through problems in a positive and practical way. Couples will benefit when they utilize helpful resources and skills found in books written by Christian authors.

Christ-based counselor certification includes approaches and concepts that are clearly Christ-based. The historical fact is the prominent persons who established the psycho-social practices were atheist. This had an extraordinary effect on the development of counseling professional standards.
Pastor education and counselor education are often different. Christian marriage counselors are trained specifically in marriage counseling from a biblical perspective. Pastors, on the other hand, are trained mostly in theology, education, missions, Bible, and doctrine. Pastors and counselors need to work together to help restore a broken marriage.

To locate a Christ-based counselor, a good first step is to discuss your needs with a pastor. Do not be afraid to ask state-certified counselors about their religious orientation and commitment to develop counseling solutions in line with your personal beliefs. And commit to participating on intensive programs committed to restoring marriage. Religious-based marriage intensive programs, such as those sponsored by the National Institute of Marriage, will provide an environment that will help stop divorce, restore marriage, and help create a framework of a great marriage.

Northern Johnston blogs about relationships at Bristol Johnston.