What To Do First When Changing Teen's Behaviors-Part II
This is part II of a three part series on What To Do First When Changing
Teenager's Behavior. Please read the first article before tackling this
one.
What To Do First When Changing Teen's Behaviors-Part II
Here are some examples to help out.
Positive (+) Behaviors Negative (-) Behaviors
Talks Quietly Yelling
Cleans room Doesn't clean room
Cooperates Doesn't obey (Defiance)
Listens Ignores me or talks back
Acknowledges what I say Disrespectful (might be too
general, so break it down)
-Talks with respectful tone
-Talks to communicate
-Talks genuinely
Sits quietly Runs around too much (Hyper)
Tells the truth Lies
Communicates clearly Verbally manipulates (too
general)
-Talks about things
directly
-Articulates what's really
on his or her mind
-Means what is said
Communicates assertively Whines
-Uses a normal or pleasant
tone of voice
Compliments others Critical of others
-Accepts others' viewpoints
Studies Plays too many electronic games
-Reads
-Spends time with family members
Earns good grades Poor grades
Respects property Destroys things
-Treats things nicely
-Repairs broken objects
Uses words to solve conflicts Physical fighting
-Talks in a calm voice
-Uses reasoning vs. acting out
Waits, thinks, then behaves Impulsivity
Stays focused Distractible
Uses civilized language Curses
Initiates things on own Lazy (might be too general)
-Stays organized
-Finishes projects
-Stays focused
-Initiates activity
Manages mood Temper tantrums
-Gives self a time out
-Stays calmer when stressed
Thinks of others first Selfish
Does things quicker Dawdling
Tells the truth Isn't trustworthy (too general)
-Does what he or she says
will be done
Comes home on time Ignores curfews
These are some of the many complaints and categories I hear about from
parents. There are a lot more categories and infinitely more negative
behaviors to be put in the right column. All have a positive opposite variant that goes in the left column.
Now, what do you do with "the list?" First, we're mostly going to
work
with the list on the left side. Rank order the list; that is, think
about
which of these positive behaviors you most want or is most important.
Or,
you can look at the list on the right side and pick those negative
behaviors
that you really want to "go away." Either will tell you which
of the many
behaviors in either column are most important. Figure out
which behavior is
number one and rank it accordingly (put a "1" next to it...).
Choose another
to be number two; that is, which behavior is not quite as
important as the
number one behavior, but presumably is still important
enough to be number
two. Work your way down the page, creating a ranked
or prioritized list,
ending with the positive behavior that is still
positive, but relatively
speaking, least important.
In the next article, I'll explain more about this process..
-Dr. Griggs
http://www.psychologyproductsandservices.com/page18.html
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